Poetic Page

APOLOGY All I want to do is cut Cut so deep, that It never does heal I have the blade But not the guts I apologize my love For torturing you, hurting you I am sorry for being The person I am I am sorry for not being The happy friend you want me to be I am sorry my dear For never being able to smile And I am sorry For being me, just me I’m trying really hard to die But the devil directs death and decides to evades those Who are marked with cuts and bruises So forgive me if you can Or punish me if you must Whatever makes you happy So smile, the my kinda smile Smile the way, I can say You are mine

I ASK Looking out of the window I ask whether I should go out And it says no I ask whether I should shout And it said no I ask whether I should meet people And make new friends And the depression denies me permission I ask whether I should tell people And it calls me a fool I ask whether I should take my meds And it calls me a coward Initially it was a part of me But now, I am a part of it 

The Rain As the first drop fell She saw an escape from her hell She stood with outstretched hands Her eyes closed and her face upturned Her hair floated with the wind Her soul soared with the storm And as the raindrops hit her The pain, the gilt, the hurt, it all vanished She silently stood Soaking, soaring and smiling A smile that had been embedded In the remnants of her past And for a long time Could only be found in Kodak moments She smiled her long buried smile And as the air caressed her cheek And the wet smell of soil filled her to the brim She felt happy at last She had no other thought Just a smile, a satisfied smile The kind no blade nor smoke can give She had looked for this relief But in her cut veins she only found grief And in the smoke, numbness Perhaps she had been looking at the wrong places But just as she thought she had the solution, The rain stopped The smile fades The happiness vanished And she’s onc...

THE REAL ME This restless energy and these pent up feelings That I keep bottled in They want to spill out But I resist I force them in I shove them deep It isn’t easy, not at all It’s trying to fit the ocean in a drop One day I might slip But if I do they won’t leak out They’ll rush out like a broken dam Except the walls wont be bricked But sometimes I wonder whether I’m wrong Whether I should quit silencing my heart’s song What’ll happen even if the feelings are exposed naked For everyone to see, to judge, to feel Cause I’m sure the right person Will be among everyone And they are the ones who matter But then again what if the important ones Are those who use me, destroy me, play with me I want to be vulnerable But am afraid to be hurt Sometimes I let someone take a peak Sometimes they like what they see But other times I end up licking the inflicted wounds But I the fool, still continue to Let those feelings out Somet...

HESITATION The feelings I felt today Can barely be expressed But they exist within me Filling me, fueling me and fooling me The mixture has the most unique combination Appreciation and astonishment Thankfulness and threat Love and trust And many more that fill me to the brim But the tongue is too hesitant to pronounce them Maybe it’s the mind guiding me Telling me to be mature hence quite Or maybe it’s my heart playing safe Afraid to be scoffed at Either way I’m incapable of making you aware Hence the only solution for me To express the silent battle in the loudest way Is by hugging you tight And letting the unsaid words caress you